so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
