mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
