i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
