dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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