A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
