She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
