super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
