dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
