How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
