Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
