she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
