Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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