One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im part way to drunk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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