I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
