He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
