I smell stomach acid.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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