Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
