Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
