just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found puke in my bra..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
