Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he shaved USA in his pubs
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
