I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
