I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
