Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
