I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to have your abortion
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
