Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
