My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
