so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
