This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
