I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
