and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
