Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
