I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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