i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
