kristin has been a bad kristin
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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