The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
