I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
