i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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