How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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