Someone shit on the floor
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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