So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And then he peed in my hair
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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