Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
