It's Friday. Sex?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
