we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
