You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
