your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
