Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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