It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
