Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
