Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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