So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
