the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
