Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
