before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
