I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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